Sorting out 2015

Try it! It's New!

Try it! It’s New!

I kept trying to write about Jack’s new toddler bed yesterday, but I was continually thwarted. I will take that as a hint that there’s something more urgent that I should be blogging about. There are lots of things up in the air for our family in the new year (even more than usual).

We visited my family in the Atlanta area over the holidays. It was great fun, but not as smooth as our trip to Vegas over the summer. Honestly, Hugo (recently turned four years old) is driving me up the wall. He was perfectly potty trained a month ago, but decided to take some time off for vacation. I’m still slightly abashed that I wrote about yelling at him the one time last year. We need new strategies. He’s desensitized to yelling, won’t even stay in his room for time outs unless we hold the door shut. He won’t stop a behavior when told to do so (out of embarrassment? stubbornness?). This is usually related to playing rough with Jack, who is over 24 pounds but just started walking a few weeks ago and is very unsteady.

Sometimes I am perfectly calm and can connect with Hugo and say the right thing to defuse the situation, and sometimes I lose my temper and it becomes a stand off. This kid is so stubborn! Saturday I locked him in the bathroom on the condition that he pee, and he held out for 10 minutes! That was following a regular time out for defiance, hitting, etc. We know that sometimes everyone needs a reset, but it’s not always clear how to go about that. Or whether it’s appropriate to allow a behavior to go unpunished (though punishment clearly does not work on regular basis). Last night, Hugo cried to his dad that he wanted to be good. So that’s something, at least.

Hugo’s behavior had been great since he settled in at his new preschool this fall. I thought we were over the hump with acting out and defiance. He just lost it right after his birthday. I thought it was related to the Christmas excitement and craziness, and maybe it is. This is only his second day back at school. Hopefully things will settle down.

We’re approaching the first anniversary of my husband’s solo law practice, and taking a look back at how it worked out this year and what we can expect going forward. I’m very proud of him and trust that it was the right decision to go on his own.

I’m ready for new opportunities myself. I’m freelancing from home with Jack now, but keeping an eye out for the right full time position. Job hunting right before Christmas was kind of crazy, and I’m hoping my additional bandwidth no longer dedicated to Hugo’s birthday and holiday prep will be helpful in January.

As always, I am optimistic! I hope everyone has a happy and peaceful new year.

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4 thoughts on “Sorting out 2015

  1. Happy New Year! Your son sounds a lot like mine… Have you ever read the Explosive Child, by Greene? I found it really helpful in understanding how/why my kid got so dysregulated with his emotions. With the potty training, I would kind of just go with the flow (no pun intended). Sometimes with a strong willed kid, drawing that line in the sand can just make it worse if they are in it to win it, you know? My son also took a bit longer to potty train, and it seemed to be a control thing for him. . . In the moment it can feel so frustrating. And if you ask me, four is worse than three which is way worse than two years old. . . There is also sometimes a developmental burst around birthdays and half birthdays that kids go through. We used to notice that our son would have behavioral regressions around these times as he was struggling to learn new stuff in other areas. Best of luck to you, and just know you are not alone in all of the frustration and yes, even in the yelling. It’s all good, and it will all be okay. You’re doing a great job. On another note, how the heck did your baby turn one already???!!! xoxo.

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    • Thanks, Charlotte! I will check out that book. I guess there isn’t going to be a quick fix, is there? I thought four was going to be awesome! Jack just turned 9 months, not quite a year yet. And happy new year to you and your family!

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