Meditating on toy selection?
I’ve been meditating twice a day for a half hour since 2006. I started meditating in 1995 but I hardly ever missed one from 2006 to 2011. And then came Hugo!
I can’t say enough about how regular meditation improved my life. My mind was clearer, there was less noise in my head, I didn’t struggle with decisions, took things a lot less personally, I was more calm and happy – that is just the beginning. It was a lovely thing to share with my husband, too. We meditated together since 2009.
It grew difficult to sit up straight for a half hour sometimes as my pregnancy progressed. By the end of the third trimester, I was usually sitting for only 20 minutes. I had restless leg syndrome, and it was a lot worse in the evening.
I was conscious of hearing my mantra all through my body while pregnant – knowing that the sound was permeating Hugo’s body, too. I had no expectation that I wouldn’t be able to meditate after Hugo arrived. I don’t think I really had any clue what life was going to be like with baby at all.
I was pretty persistent after four years of never missing a meditation. In the hospital, we were constantly interrupted by a stream of staff members and visitors.
At home, I didn’t wake up for the day until Hugo woke up. Partly to compensate for his night wakings, and I think he and I naturally fell into a sleep rhythm. Especially once he started sleeping with us at five weeks or so.
Hugo nursed a lot in the morning when he was a newborn. At first I meditated while he was nursing, but it was hard not to focus on him. Then he became more active and it was impossible. He does take a regular nap in the mornings now, but I am usually trying to scarf down breakfast and shower before he wakes up.
I have persevered with the evening meditation. Hugo used to take a half hour nap in my lap some time between 4:00 and 7:00 so we could fit it in then. Now he goes to bed between 7:00 and 8:00. That leaves plenty of time to meditate, but sometimes I wait too long and can’t stay awake when I try.
My back muscles are a mess since my pregnancy. I can’t even sit up straight. So many things get in the way when it’s not a habit anymore.
Sometimes when I’m putting Hugo down for a nap or for bedtime, I remember to reconnect with the stillness for a few moments. It helps get me through to the next time and provides some quiet and peace.
There is more space to breathe now. My mind isn’t the Gortex (Go + vortex) that it was the first few months after Hugo was born. I hope that the time opens up soon so I can meditate regularly again. For everyone’s sake.